


Chocolate Glühwein Confessions

by tinyace



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: 12 Days of Carmilla, Christmas Drabbles, Day 3 - Christmas Drinks, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 22:11:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5432645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyace/pseuds/tinyace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 3 - Christmas Drinks. After Carmilla orders the wrong drink, Laura comes up with a game in which she gets to ask Carmilla five true-or-false questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Glühwein Confessions

Carmilla is about to set this entire cafeteria on fire, because she’s been waiting in this stupid line for what feels like an hour, and she insisted that Laura should stay at the table, because this place is ridiculously crowded and they wouldn’t have a place to sit otherwise. 

But the kid behind her has been poking her back for the entire time and she can only _shuffle_ her way forward, which is nothing compared to having spend all day gift shopping for a holiday she doesn’t give two craps about, and the _only_ reason she agreed to go along in the first place was- well… _Laura_. It’s always Laura. It’s starting to get a little scary how much she is willing to sacrifice for her. She’s pretty sure this girl will be the second death of her. 

When she finally gets at the front of the line and orders their drinks she’s no longer surprised it’s way overpriced and comes in super small cups, because _of course_ it does. Why would this day get better when it’s been terrible anyway, right? Well, not entirely. But not factoring in Laura it’s been one of the most frustrating days she’s had in a long time. And it’s not fair to factor Laura into the calculation to begin with, Carmilla tells herself, because whenever she’s around her it’s like all the numbers get distorted anyway. 

She pays for the drinks and when she turns around and spots Laura, completely absorbed reading a book, she can already feel all her previous frustrations drop back tenfold. See? Unfair advantage. 

Laura looks up from her book and a broad smile appears on her face when she sees her, and Carmilla has to remind herself to not be so goddamn smitten, with this annoying girl she’s in love with. Right, why not explicitly admit it to yourself you’re complete head over heels for Laura? You might as well get on one knee now, before you do it by accident. Good gracious, Karnstein, get some self-respect. 

Carmilla sits down with a heavy sigh and shoves the hot chocolate towards Laura. Her face falters when she sees Laura’s pouting.

“I said I wanted whatever you were having.” 

“Yeah, but- they had hot chocolate and I didn’t think you’d enjoy glühwein as much.” She can almost feel that kid poking in her back her again. “ _Please_ don’t make me go back there.” 

“No of course not, but it’s just-“ Laura plucks at the cup. “Don’t you remember us drinking wine that night we stargazed on the roof?”

Laura’s gaze meets hers and Carmilla can feel her cheeks turn pink, which is _another_ thing Laura is good at: making Carmilla feel like 18 again. 

“I mean- why would _I_ ,” Laura continues, “Being the sweet tooth I am, not like a sweetened, warmed version of wine?” 

Touché.

“It’s probably habit, seeing you always with that dumb Doctor Who mug.”

“You like my dumb Doctor Who mug,” Laura grins. “Share drinks?” 

Carmilla looks doubtful at the small-sized cup she’s holding. “I would if there weren’t a maximum of five gulps in this.” 

“Okay, how about this,” Laura proposes. “I get to ask you five true or false questions. If I guess correct, I get one gulp of the glühwein, and you have to drink out the chocolate. If I get it wrong, you get to drink out of the glühwein and I have to drink the cocoa. Deal?” 

Carmilla squints her eyes at her. This deal is in nowhere fair, and Laura knows it. She can feel every last bit of self-respect she had left disappear as she puts the glühwein in the middle of the table.

“Okay deal.” 

Woosh! It flew away. Goodbye self-respect.

Laura triumphantly smiles and puts the hot chocolate next to the glühwein. Carmilla immediately regrets ever agreeing, because Laura already has an unfair advantage on her anyway, and now she’s just willingly giving into it as well. 

“Crap, this is hard-“ Laura mutters and drums with her fingers on the table. 

“You’re not the one who is about to get massacred.” 

“Oh don’t be so melodramatic,” she says lightly, but she _knows_. Oh yeah, Laura _knows_ how much power she has in this moment, and Carmilla would hate herself more if it wasn’t so adoring to watch her pondering over whatever fucked up questions she’s mauling over in her brain right now. 

“Did you ever have a thing for Mattie?” Laura spits out.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow. “What the fuck, Hollis?” and grabs for the glühwein and takes a gulp out of it. “She’s my sister. Of course not.”

“Really, never?”

“Is that another question, or-?”

“No no no! That doesn’t count, but I mean she’s gorgeous and really powerful and-“

“Am I going to have to compete with my sister now? Because I can already tell you you’re not her type.”

“ _And when I first saw you two_ ,” Laura finishes her sentence, “I just wondered when you were new to being a vampire and all, if you had a thing for her or not. Could be small.”

Laura grabs the cup and before she takes a gulp out of the chocolate she mutters, “I wouldn’t blame you.” 

Turns out Laura isn’t the only one learning new things. 

“Okay next question,” Laura says as she puts the cup down. “More than once you wished to become human again, correct?” 

Carmilla feels the sting in her stomach. Without hesitating she reaches for the chocolate. She thinks back how she wanted to spent her life with Ell, how she wished to die in the blood coffin like a _normal_ person. How she’s eventually going to move on after Laura has passed away. 

“Not to say I don’t like being a vampire,” she says as she put the cup down again. “But yeah, it has its downsides.” 

Laura nods understandingly and takes a gulp out of the glühwein. “That was a tough one. I’ll go easy on you with the next question.” 

Carmilla can’t help the little grin that turns up on her face. “Bring it.” 

“I need to formulate this in a way so I can get the glühwein,” Laura mumbles and when she turns her eyes back to Carmilla a smile appears on her face. “The only thing you like about the holiday season is that fairy lights reminds you of the stars.” 

She rolls her eyes as she drinks from the hot chocolate. “These are no longer questions, these are statements, Laura.”

Laura shrugs as she grabs the glühwein again. “Same difference. Gotta answer them with yes or no anyway, right?”

“Two more left, and the drinks are getting cold so you better hurry.” 

“Alright. No more messing around.”

Laura thinks for a moment and Carmilla can distinctly see the moment she’s figured out what’s she going to ask.

“Out of all the anagrams you had, you still like your birthname best.” 

She hesitates for a moment, because for one, names are arbitrary and after 300 years kinda lost their meaning. But there is also no point in denying there’s a part in her that doesn’t want to let go of her birthname ‘Mircalla’. It’s one of the few things that remind her that she isn’t a complete monster, or at least, wasn’t born as one. She was made into one. 

Laura watches her carefully, and Carmilla’s eyes shift back to the two cups and she doesn’t know why her hands refuse to move now. _It doesn’t matter! Just pick a damn cup; it’s just a stupid game anyway._

“Carm?” Laura asks concerned, and without hesitation Carmilla suddenly picks up the glühwein. 

It’s the way she says it, Carmilla thinks while drinking the hot beverage. The way the name ‘Carmilla’ is attached to Laura, and how she came up with that ridiculous nickname is something she has grown fond of hearing, more so than the memory of her birthname. 

“Interesting,” Laura hums happily and picks up the hot chocolate. She takes a gulp and pulls an ugly face and quickly puts the cup down. “Good lord, hot chocolate after glühwein is an _awful_ combination.”

“It was your idea, cupcake,” Carmilla says as she lines up the cups in the middle again. “Last question. Better make it count.” 

Without skipping a beat Laura opens her mouth again. 

“Would you-“ she shakes her head immediately and lets out a hollow laugh. “I can't ask _that_. Not after the crap I’ve put you through.” 

Carmilla looks puzzled. “You got your stupid questions, so now’s the time to ask them.” 

“No you don’t understand,” Laura says and Carmilla is taken by surprise by the wavering in her voice. “It’s not _fair_ of me to take advantage of you like that.” 

Nothing about Laura is ever fair, she thinks. Carmilla knows she would do anything for her. And ever since she killed a man to save her neck, quite literally so, she knows Laura would do the same for her. And yet they’re still not together. And yet… Things are still complicated. 

“Spit it out,” Carmilla says more impatiently than intended.

“Would you ever forgive me for the things I’ve done to you?” Laura says meekly.

“That’s not the question you were going to ask.”

“ _Well_ , it’s the question you’re getting,” she sneers at her, and immediately ashamed of her tone she avoids eye contact.

Carmilla can see she’s holding back tears. Suddenly she’s very aware that they’re still in a crowded public café. A couple gives them an annoyed look and another man tries not to be too obvious listening to the drama that’s unfolding. 

Softly she says. “Maybe this isn’t the right place to have this conversation.” 

“Where else are we going to have this conversation?” Laura turns her eyes right back to her, so fierce they almost seem to pierce through her soul. “At our dorm where we pretend everything is fine? Or just outside on campus where we smile weakly and then avoid each other? The reason I asked you to come shopping with me was to try and break those barriers we put up for each other.” 

Laura takes a sharp breath to calm herself down and quickly dries her tears that were collecting in her eyes. “So would you?”

Her voice sounds more fragile than ever.

“What?”

“Would you forgive me?” Laura clarifies.

Carmilla looks at her for a moment before taking the cup with whatever small amount of glühwein that’s left in it and puts it in front of Laura. 

“Yes,” she says. “I think I already have, actually.”

“But how?” Laura asks unbelieving. “I keep pushing you to be these things you don’t want to be.”

Carmilla lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, you do. And just because I keep protecting you doesn’t mean I’m a hero.” 

Laura swallows. “Yeah, I’m working on that.”

“ _But_ ,” she adds as she carefully grabs Laura’s hand. “You’re also the only person that cared enough to save _me_. No one has ever done that. Not even Mattie.” 

“It wasn’t that difficult a choice, Carm,” she says plainly. 

That’s not true, because she knows Laura tried to fight for the school with justice. Instead, when Vordenberg threatened to kill her, Laura let go off all her beliefs and saved her instead. Yet the fact that it seems so logical to Laura that saving Carmilla was the only option, might just indicate that Carmilla has just as an unfair grip on Laura as Laura has on her.

“Can I ask you a question now?”

Laura nods. 

“What was the question you swallowed back in?” 

Laura draws back the hand Carmilla was holding and frowns into her lap. “It was a very selfish question.” 

“I figured,” she says. “But I want to know anyway.”

Laura takes a deep breath and Carmilla isn’t sure out of the two of them who is more nervous right now. 

“I was gonna ask, if… Maybe, in the future, when I get my crap together again, if you would maybe want to be in a relationship with me again?”

Relief washes over Carmilla, because now she’s _certain_ she isn’t the only one who is having a calculation-problem. 

“If I’m going to push that glühwein even more to your side it will spill on your lap.” 

Laura lets out a laugh, and Carmilla can feel the tension release. 

“What about you?” she asks. “Does this lazy, apathetic vampire still have a chance?”

Her smile on her face widens as Laura slowly pushes the glühwein towards Carmilla.

“Absolutely.”

**Author's Note:**

> I won't post all my Christmas drabbles on AO3. If you want to read more, you can do so [here](http://bannedfromzoos.tumblr.com/tagged/12-days-of-carmilla). (Apologies if there are any grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language).


End file.
